What nobody every told you about having a baby

As if having a baby wasn't hard enough, you've read all the books and gotten all the advice, but somehow they all forgot to tell you a few things...

Here is our list of things nobody ever told us about having a baby:

• babies get toe jam
• babies get tons of ear wax - don't use Q tips! 
• babies get fluff in the creases of the palm of their little hands
• newborns peel all their skin off like a snake
• baby poop is liquid mustard
• babies fart really loud man farts
• breastfeeding hurts and can be really hard, blistering and scabbing may occur (but it does get easier and is worth the agony)
• breast milk is sticky! 
• breast milk does not come out of one hole in the middle of your nipple, but from an array of holes at different angles
• breast milk has a spraying radius of at least 3 feet
• it burns to pee for about 2 weeks if you've had a tear and you have to spray warm water on your perineum (that means your crotch) with a water bottle for relief

What was news to you? We want your feedback! Let's compile a list so new moms aren't as surprised as we were!